The Poet's Pad

Cha-Ching!

2008-11-11T23:43:00.000-08:00

Cha-Ching!

It's a cash register

Cha-Ching!

It's the sound of money

Cha-Ching!

Everyday. Pulling back a leaver and there it goes.

Cha-Ching!

It's the sound of winning

It's the sound of losing.

Cha-Ching!

Like the glistening of coins.

Like the sound of my future.

Cha-Ching!

Like death in the grave.

Jam on toast

2008-10-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

Seems like the perfect way

the start the day

to chase to blues away

make the sky not grey

Jam on toast

It's so simple that it could be a religion

or a theology

or an enthos

What more do you need to believe in?

Toasted bread with sugery

preserved fruit.

Simplicity in life

Jam on toast

If I was a music maker

2008-10-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

If I was a musician, I mean a professional one

I'd play for free
Obviously there would be some costs for me
Perhaps if I was independently wealthy
Yeah I'd play concerts for free

I'd release singles that benefit charity all the time.
Band Aid. Farm Aid. Live Aid. AIDS aid.
Any thing you could think of that's wrong in this world
Aid.

I'd tour around with Bono and try to free Africa
I hang out with Moby and talk about the horrors of the meat industry
I'd revive Freddie Mercury with the unholy powers of Rock N Roll and we'd fight AIDS
Created clever union protest songs with Pete Seegar
Give some samples of my music to Black Eyed Peas
so they can turn it into a song about the need for human unity

I guess that's why I'll never be a famous musician

Movement, as therapy

2008-10-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

Let you hair down and forge ahead
though all dreams and hopes and wishes unsaid
lead through strange grounds unread
Let you hair down and forge ahead

Lace up your shoes and run away
don't waste another second of day
listening to all the babblers and what they say
Lace up your shoes and run away

Rev the ignition and go for a drive
testing the speed limits to feel alive
getting as much fun as you can contrive
Rev the ignition and go for a drive

Kick off your blues and dance around town
don't let the mean people get you down
just bang on a drum and shake the ground
Kick off your blues and dance around town

Let you hair down and forge ahead
Lace up your shoes and run away
Rev the ignition and go for a drive
Kick off your blues and dance around town

And never stop
until you are dead

The Ghost of Josh Pitney's Drums

2008-09-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

The ghost of Josh Pitney's drums can still be heard
In the old hall where the music was played
Underneath the guitars and keyboard
Expertly time bass drum, high-hat, and snare combination
Keeping a solid steady rhythm
Driving the world round
Driving the beat of our hearts
Driving our feet forward

The ghost of Josh Pitney's Drums can still be heard
In the first jazz club that ever opened
W in among wailing saxophones
wild trumpets and trombones
the plink of a slightly out-of-tune piano
Keeping it sexy a full of swank
Driving the dancing audience
Driving the percussive snap of the barman
Driving our feet forward

The ghost of Josh Pitney's drums can still be heard
in my ringing ears as I wonder home from the rock show
The smashing thrashing sound of distorted electronics
the solid thumping bass
the bruises on my body
smashed into elbows, arms, and bodys
Keeping it raw and untaimed
Driving our emotions personafied
Driving out eternal ideals
Driving our feet forward

Autobiographical

2008-09-24T09:41:00.000-07:00

I was born under the hum of drab white florescent tube lights
On the eve of our country's independence
10lbs exactly
the nurses sung “Rockabye Sweet Baby James”

I remember bright sunny skies
listening to Pete Seegar play the banjo
at the Oregon Zoo concert

I've smelt of the fresh air
up in Idaho
Pure and sweet

I always listened to KISSN
instead of pop music.
I saw Paul Revere and the Raiders
at the KISSN Summer Goodbye concert

I witnessed a car accident on Thanksgiving on year
The screeching breaks.
One car flipped on top of another.

The fist CD I ever owned was “Stunt” by Bearnaked Ladies
I played it to death.
Listening over and over.
Until it wouldn't play anymore.

I remember the warmth of my first kiss.
The taste of Cherry bubble gum
Flesh on flesh
Heart on Heart

I felt the blazing red sun of California.
The sun burn on my back.
And the realization the beaches aren't really all they're cracked up to be.

I've driven down the highway with my friends.
Blasting 80's elctropop
“Hungry Like the Wolf”
Like a cowboy
riding into the sun

I remember seeing the news
when the Twin Towers came down
And not really understanding what was happening
why everyone was sad
“Wasn't it just a big building?”

I spent endless years in the service of the BSA
Working on the tree lot
listening by the same 25 or so Christmas songs blear over the sound system
Coming home soaked in rain
smelling like pine

I still wince at the thought of my old room.
Painted a bright Canary Yellow
The kind of color that practically rips your eyes out.

I can still recall the crisp crunch
the first time I ever bit into a watermelon
The juices running down my cheek

If I think hard enough
I can even remember the first day of high school
Worried sick that I'd never make it
And just look how far I've come

Realtionship Talking Blues

2008-09-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

If you wanna get a girl
let me tell ya what to do
you gotta clean up your act
and get some manners too
Yes her parents won't really like you much
if you're always walkin round
drunk and such
they'll kick you out

Gotta give her flowers
can't always make her cry
just to prove
you're really a nice guy
Always call her
when she's not around
tell her you miss her
when she's not in town
It's sentimental
She'll be like putty in your hands

Maybe be a real gentlemen
invite her parents over
now and again
Because if they don't aprrove
of you my friend
you're really out of luck my friend

And if her parents don't eat you up
and if her cousins don't eat you up
and if her aunts and uncles don't eat you up
and if her grandparents and uncles don't eat you up
You'll be safe!
getting married tomorrow!
No second thoughts

Then 4 years later
you'll look back on your life
your handsome kids
your beautiful wife
And despite all the
great things in your life
you'll start to cause
trouble and strife
You'll get restless
have a mistress!
You're in trouble

So just slow down
take it easy pal
be thankful that
you've got a gal
On to love you
and keep you near
so just throw away
all your fears
Be thankful
Lots of folks are angry
not you
you're fine.

Till the Money Runs Out (song)

2008-09-21T18:55:00.001-07:00

G C G
Till the money runs out we can fly across the world
C D
You and me holdin hands little girl
C D G G G/F Em
I know that it's hard leaving your parents yard
C D G
But sometime you've gotta see the world

Till the money runs out we can travle on a train
ridin double decker busses through the London rain
You'd blush to hear me say
"you look so happy and gay"
Dancingh in the London rain

Till the money runs out we can rent a rental car
Like Colin Hay sung "Roll the top down, and travle quite far"
And went we run out of gas
hope a stranger will pass
and be able to spare some more

Now the money's all gone and we've got no place to go
I'll settle down with you get a job like a regular Joe
I'l get a job at the factory
You'll be at home waitin' for me
when we get enough money
maybe raiser up a family
Yeah this is the life for you and me...

An afternoon with Rumi

2008-09-20T15:21:00.000-07:00

“If thou wilt be observant and vigilant, thou wilt see at every moment the response to thy action.” She said it was a quote from some mystic poet, Roomy, or something like that. That’s the way she was. Always quoting this famous person, or that great thinker. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she had a quote for every situation.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, taking a drag from my cigarette.
She laughed and grabbed from my hand, “It means that if you keep on smoking, you’re going to get cancer”
I laughed and lit another one, “Yeah, well, if I stop smoking, I’ll get cranky, and have a pounding headache”
She shrugged and let it go. That was the great thing about her. She never hassled me about my problems, and I hassled her about hers. We had an understanding. I had smoking; she had an addiction to people. She was one of the most social people I knew. The worst thing in the world for her would be a night alone. It wasn’t just a social thing too. She craved intimacy. Being attached to someone, or feeling like she was a significant part of someone’s life. Which unfortunately led her to a lot of dead-end relationships, a lot of heartbreak. But that’s just the way she was I suppose.
At the time, we were waiting for the bus to come. It was a chilly morning; the sun had barely risen over the horizon. Her breath came out almost and smoky and white as my exhaling.
“When do you think the bus will come?”
I shrugged and shook my head, looking down to check my watch. I didn’t have a watch, so really I just looked at my wrist. It was just a habit that I had gotten into. I used to wear a watch all the time. But then it broke, and slowed down, and I guess I never got a new one. But I still always checked it.
She smiled and looked at the various vehicles that drove passed us, “Why are people awake so early?”
“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, it’s like 5 o’clock in the morning, and about a thousand cars have passed us. Why are they awake so early?”
“Why are we awake so early?”
“Because we spent the night drinking coffee with scotch in it, and pretending that we were beat poets. Then when our rational mind took over, we realized that we were better off doing something more productive, and we left”
She shrugged, “Fair enough”
“See, there it is now” I said, looking down the street.
“Yeah, how long do you think it took for it to get here?”
I shrugged. I hadn’t really paid attention to the time when we left.
“Well, how long have we been here?”
I didn’t know, I didn’t have a watch.
“You’re boring when you’re hung over” She laughed.
“Yeah, and you talk too much” I replied.
We both laughed, and stepped on the bus, as it whisked us away to our perspective houses. And as the bus pulled away I finally understood what she meant. I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.
“What was that for?”
I smiled, knowing that this was the right thing, “For being you”

The Chess Game

2008-09-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

It was a chilly August noon, when I was walking through the ark. I chanced upon a small table, painted on top, like a chess board. Behind it sat a man, no remarkable features could be seen, Just a man of his late 30's.
I smiled and said, “What are you doing here?”
He returned my smile, offering me a seat at the other side, “Waiting for some one to play with”
He pulled out the pieces and began setting them up, so I obliged him in his offer. I warned him that I was no good at chess, but he waved it away.
“I'm not interested in a challenge,” He said, “More in the playing of the game”
We played one game, he won. Then he began to set the pieces up again, “Please stay for another” And I, having nowhere else to be, agreed to play again.
“So tell me,” I said as we played, “What are you doing here, surely you cannot sit around and play chess, or simply wait for an opponent,”
“Why not?” He replied simply.
“Well a man must work to survive. He must make money. He must eat, if nothing else, surly you must eat and drink to continue on”
The man smiled again, as if anything I had to say was all a big joke.
“You have put yourself in check” He pointed to the board.
“So it seems,” I replied, quickly moving my king out of the way.
“You have made the quick fix,” He mused.
“Let me tell you this: A man does not need anymore then he thinks he does. See myself. I tell you truly that I sit here all day, waiting to do nothing but play chess. Yet look at me, I am not thin, I am not sickly and pale. Nor am I skinny and emaciated.”
And when I looked again at the man, I looked deeply. And in his smile I was radiance, and peace. Happiness, beyond all else. I knew, that in that instance, I understood. I only worked because I thought it was necessary. I only ate what I thought would satisfy me. Only collected money so I could throw it away.
And in that moment, my eyes opened, and the man was gone. Returning to the chessboard, I smile.
“Check mate” I told my invisible partner.

A Former Life

2008-09-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

I ran to my middle school life
he was wondering around my house

I caught up with him and greeted him
He smiled but didn't know me

I told him my name was James
He laughed "what a coincidence that's my name"

He had short haired
it was spiked up with streaks of blue

He told me about his life
about outdoor school
about that girl he liked in his class
about all the girls he liked in his school

I smiled and nodded my head
I knew already, but I listened anyway

After he was done
I told him about my life

The people I met
the good teachers at my school

I read him some of the stuff I wrote
And more and more
he liked me less and less

Finally when I was done
He looked like I was the last person on earth he would be with at that time

Bitter
Harsh
Angry
"Fag"
he spat
"I hope that I never end up like you"
And he left

But I smiled
little did he know...

Funny How People Change

2008-09-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

When I first met you
we were in honors english
I was waiting for the bell to ring
You were waiting for Gedot

I thought you had a great body
You thought the book we were reading
was a great body of work

I asked you if you'd go out with me
"only" you said, if I read you poetry

So I did
A collction of poems
some guy named Alfred, Lord Tennison
You said that he was a famous victorian poet
sounded like a rockstar to me

Then school was over
I suppose we were going out
I would always try and call you
you were never about

So I spent my whole summer
reading Siddhartha
trying to sound smarter

But when school started
I was broken hearted
You were not there

And now ten years on
sitting in this hotel lobby
I think back on those days
remember them quite fondly

Then I glimps you
for a second
I look again
maybe not
Perhaps I'd been dwelling on you
a bit longer then I ought

But no! I did!
You had your arm raped around
some fiar-haired 'Bon Jovi'

I caught your eye
smiled and waved my hand

I walked over to talk to you
we reminiced for a while
but after time
I realized
you'd changed your style

You started going to The Gap
worring about good looks
you laughed
at the idea
of ever reading books

I turned and smiled sadly
your not the girl you used to be
The kind of girl who'd only date
if she was read some poetry.

Your Heart Verese Mine

2008-09-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

Girls with padded breasts squeal in the corner
as I shout revolutionary phrases
You never showered me with so many praises
As that day

That day when the wall came crashing down
You told me you loved me
I told you I could never love
and you laughed

I never heard so many tears shed
as on the day John Lennon died
I drank in the bar
You sat in the rain and cried

And as I wipe off the brown crusted blood
from the labor union protest
You sing me Pete Seegar songs
and wash my clothes

Last night I thought I heard you cry
I thought I heard you cry
I heard you cry

You had dreampt that you would die
Alone
at a anti-war demonstration

You held me and told me you loved me
As I told you, I can never love
and you smiled
I laughed
Together
we were born
we both died

A letter to a friend

2008-09-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

I
Dearest friend,
Whilst I wondered
in this most wondrous night
I found myself quite close to your house

I felt troubled and disquieted
some heaviness playing heavily
on my heart and mind

II
So as I passed your burnt toast residence
an idea struck me
a thought pushed through

That you might accompany me
and keep me company
in this most wondrous moon light

III
But how to ask?
Under what pretense?
For a gentleman to ask
the hand of a lady
to a midnight stroll
is most ungentlemanly

Yet perhaps the truth is more compelling
for surely your mother is willing
to let you out

For a midnight stroll
along with me
in this most wondrous fancious, flight
Yes, I quite think that should be alright

VI
So here I stand at your door
My insides twisted with anctious claws

I repeated this well-written letter
over and over in my mind
Then you opened wide the door
Smiling, all well planned words
had, unfortunately, fled

V
And yet somehow you agreed
to accompany me
and keep me company
on this wondrous night's journey

VI
I had planned on telling you:
about your beautiful hair
about your stunning looks
the exquisite color of your eyes
how they reflected the moon light

But seeing you again
as we took our midnight stroll
I opened my mouth
and all the words were gone

VII
"I love you"
Was all I could say.

2008-09-11T00:52:00.001-07:00

I don't know if I still have any dedicated readers. I'm guessing not. But if you do still exsist, then I am really sorry. I started this last summer (in 07) if I remember correctly, and kinda left off, when I got stuck in the story.

But I promise you that I will start writing again, and you can start reading again, and it'll all be good!

Part 10: Career Opertunities

2007-09-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

The girl behind the counter gave him a big smile
"You again, back with more change?"

He laughed and shook his head.

"I was wondering
I'm thinking about staying in town for a while
figured I'd need a job"

She lauged
"You? Work at a diner?
You don't think you're a bit
old?"

Old
"How old is that man back there?"
He pointed out the Asian man
now frying up burgers

"Him? 47?50?"

Sebastian smiled
"In that case I'm definitely not too old.
I'm not nearly that age
Not even half!"

She held up a finger
walking to the back room

Out of the corner of his eye
he glimpsed the blond haired man
still furiously scrawling on his legal pad.

The girl reappeared with an white piece of paper
sets it in front of him
and holds out a hand to shake

"Jennifer, I think that we have some work you could do"

He took it and shook
"Sebastian, when do I start?"

"Now"

Part 9: Another story for another time

2007-09-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

"So what's your story?"
He asked.

She laughed.
on of those vibrent laughs.

"What's with the radio?"
He trys again.

Another laugh

"It's a present from my brother
He loves big band music
so he sends me his recordings"

"As for my story
I'd tell you
But I have to go to class now
You can stay
But I've got to go"

Swishing out the door
she paused
looked back
"You might want to get a job
You can't be a freeloader forever"

Then she was gone.
He shoved his hands in his pockets
feeling soming hard and metallic

What was it?
A key
To What?
Her house!
When did it get there?
Last night most likely
What should I do?
Get off your lazy ass and get a job!

He stood up
running his hands through his hair
Well, I suppose I might as well.

"Hello young lovers wherever you are"

Part 8: My story

2007-09-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

I was Born
I Lived
I Died

And then
somehow
I ended up here

What more do you want?

Who am I?

Just a man
a wanderer

The Japanese have a name for it
a master-less Samurai
Ronin

What's real name?
Alexander Pope
Winston Smith
David Copperfield

Who knows?
Who cares?

I am
who I am

My name is
Sebastian Alexander Stevenson

Stopping for a while
then after I'm done
I'll fill up my tank
and head out on the road

Always wandering
Always on the move

Part 7: Sukie, with eggs and susage on the side

2007-09-09T13:24:00.000-07:00

Sukie stood
keeping a watchful eye on the skillet
softly humming along to the radio music
who can be heard all the way in the kitchen

"So deep in my heart, that you're really a part of me"

"What's on the menu?"
He asked
slowly rubbing his head
looking towards the porch
then at Sukie

Bright
White
Teeth
Smile

"Eggs and Sausage? Mind?"
He shook his head

Sukie was simply rapped in a white towel
that covered her body
barely

Breakfast was done
they sat on carpeted floor

"What's your real name?"
He laughed
My Real Name?
"No one has a name like yours
like Alexander Supertramp?
Am I right?"
He laughed again
"No, no real names, no false names
just names is all"

She threw her head back
and issued a wonderful laugh
God, he loved that laugh

"Good answer
what's the name your parents gave you?"

"John Doe"

She smiled
fair enough
fair enough

"Who was that on the phone?"
Sebastian crossed his legs
attacking his eggs

"Well aren't you the little PI?
I've only known you for one fuck
and part of the morning"
She smiled
she liked him
Forward
Without reserve

Sebastian shrugged
focusing on his eggs

She laughed
a high bubbly laugh
"Well aren't you the archetype
tall
dark
handsome"

He shrugged again
he really didn't care

"It was my mother
she thinks I'm a slut
figures it's the only way I pay for collage"
She takes a bite of sausage
slowly masticating

"Well?"
Sebastian asked
swallowing his eggs
pausing before going for more

Sukie stopped
like someone had acceidently pulled out her power chord
and realizing they had done so
hastily shoved it back in
She let out another vibrent laugh

"My mom just doesn't trust Americans
If she saw me
here with you
like this now
She would have a fit"

"Good thing she's not here then"
They finished breakfast
and retired to her living room

Lounging now
in plush pillows
like a Maharajah
in his harem

"So, what's your story?"
Sukie pulled on a 70's rock T-shirt
and some faded ripped jeans
that had various colorful patches
sown over holes

He scoffed
My story? Who knows
"Whaddaya mean"

She knew that there was more
to this gruff man

"What's your story!
Where do you come from?
where are you going?
What are you doing here?
Who are you?"

He laughed
Who am I?
Good question

Part 6: The morning comes a day too soon

2007-09-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

The morning comes a day too soon
waking up
high-speed, fast-fire Korean
flies off the walls

"I've got you, under my skin"

Does that radio ever stop?
Where did Sukie go?
Why is the sun so bright?
He felt like the little girl
in the cafe

The Korean conversation crescendos
reaches a climax
and ends with the slamming of a phone

He could hear:
The sizzle and pop of eggs on a skillet
The sound of dishes clanking in the sink
The swanky singer

"I've got you, deep in the heart of me"

Slowly he rises
like a statue might
after a millennia of rest

Part 5: Late last night

2007-09-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

That night in cold embrace
they cuddle
and huddle

"This is a bit more then a drink"
He said
"And yet, China still stands"
She replied
As if to say that their actions
might have brought China to the ground

The room was dark
save a shaft of moon
that shone like a flood
through the bay windows

She kept rubbing his face slowly
She loved the feel of his 5 o'clock shadow
It reminded her of her father
when she was a little girl

"You keep sandin' my face like that
they'll be nothing left"

From the porch the singer could still be heard
"Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars..."

Part 4 : Like a Lizard on a Rock

2007-09-07T15:36:00.000-07:00

Sebastian returned to his car
took blue tinted glasses from the dash
relined in his seat
and began to relax
Like a lizard
sunning himself on a giant rock

Music from porch window drifted by
Some Standards singer
with a swanky voice

"Somewhere, beyond the sea..."

Sukie and her followers exit
the all bid each other "fair well"
smiling
hugging
waving 'bye-bye'

It was then
(once more)
her eye was caught by Sebastian

Sauntering over
like a sultry jazz singer
Sukie approached

"You keep catching my eye like that
I'll be blind"
He chuckled
it wasn't funny.

"Sebastian"
He held out his hand
She took it
"Sukie"
She smiled
looking him over

"Wanna come back
to my place?
Have a drink?"
She gestured in the direction
of the Standards playing porch

"My lover stands on golden sands, and watches the ships
go sailin' in"

Part 3: Enter Sukie

2007-08-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

Sebastian tips an imaginary hat
bidding the old ladies good morning
They look amongst them selfs confused
but smile and return the gesture

He enters the cafe

Shoving his hand into his jeans
he pulls out 2 dollars
and a fistful of assorted change

The young woman at the counter
raises one eyebrow
He smiles and apologizes
"Whatever that will buy"
He says

Clink clank
go the quarters, nickels, and dimes
as the cashier sorts the change
5.45 in total

It's enough for a burger and fries.
He thanks her for her trouble
sitting in the corner where the old ladies were
quietly enjoying his food.

The young man pauses from his writing
taking time to eat a bit of his food
a bite here
a bite there
just before his continues he pauses to look at Sebastian
then returns to his work

A gaggle of Asian collage girls enter
talking a mile a second
Never staying on one subject
moving from on to another
They all center around one girl

She was tall and artistic
her clothes all hand made
Ordering nothing she sat nearby
the young man looked up again
as if he was disturbed by her presence

All of the girls hang on the one in the center
She would say sentences
in any other circumstances
would never make sense
but somehow all the girls understood
and laughed

"Gene Simmons, you'll never see him taller then 100 feet!"
laugh, laugh
There couldn't be anything funnier in the world
at least to them
"Sukie!"
One of them called
Sukie turned around, and was blinded by a flash

It was then that her eye was caught
She saw Sebastian sitting
Smiling to no one
He had seen her since she had walked in
She winked at him
he raised his coke
as if to salute it

The other girls fell about them selfs
"Did you see that?"
"Could it be...?"
They were clamoring to find out what happened

The young man gave them a dirty look
but they were too busy to see
only Sukie saw it
and disregarded it quickly

In a sudden act
of passion
of emotion
of feeling
The young man ripped out the page
he'd been writing on
he balls it up and throws it away
Then with an unintentional flourish
he storms out

He was closely followed by Sebastian
but with less epic emotion
or presence
Simply seeing it as a good opportunity to leave

And as he left
he heard the little girl say

"Daddy why is the sky blue?"
Because god made it that way

Part 2: Inside the "blink blink" sign cafe

2007-08-21T01:36:00.000-07:00

Three old women sit in the corner
they talk about dogs
Big dogs vs Little dogs

"I couldn't live without a dog"
One of them says

An old man sits nearby
quietly reading an old book
It looks like it's been washed
a few times

"I want a white cat"
The second of the three says
they are all in an uproar

A young man sits cat-corner from the ladies
quickly scribbling verse and lyrics
for poems he hopes will be heard

The ladies have now switched topics
now carpets are brought up
Red vs Blues
how to get it installed
where to buy it
their disgust of green shag
And one of them knows Carpet Carl

The Old man now changes to a crossword
from the New York Times
the day Jack Kennedy was shot

A man in his early 30's answers questions
his little daughter asking
"Why don't they make machines that don't beep?"
They want them to beep
That's how they know when the fries are done

The old ladies have moved on now
to the life of a broken family
ones does all the dishes
one stays at home
one of them never cleans her room

An Asian man takes the order
from the little girl
He knows about as much English as she does
and they get along well

The old ladies stand up and leave
promising to meet again.
They stroll out
as Sebastian's car dies

Part 1: Enter Sebastian Alexander Stevenson

2007-08-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

Sebastian Alexander Stevenson
blew into town like a warm summer breeze
burning off the last tank of gas
his beat-up old jalopy kicking and sputtering

Johnsten was not his destination
not anyone's destination
people just got there

It was as good a town as any
better then some
not as good as most

Like a snapshot from an old spaghetti western
one long dust road
spanning the length of the town
the buildings brown and earthen

He stepped out
stretched and yawned
his eyes fixed on a fading neon sign
blink blink
like someone with a speak
caught in there eye

NOT A POEM: public servic announcement

2007-08-13T00:19:00.000-07:00

So, I've been working on this idea. It's like writing a story, but writing it in verse.

Kind like Shakespeare meets an epic saga. I've been working on it for...about a few months now, and I'm not sure if I'm satisfied with how much I've got. I've written an ending for it, but I think that I want to write more.

So anyway, I thought that i would post it.
I've kinda seperated the different poems that make up the story, in a similar way that a writer uses chapters.

So... I'll be posting those of the next few days, we'll see if I can write anymore...

Interesting point of veiw

2007-08-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

I'm looking at a dead man
out from the inside

I can see that his blood slowly leaking
I can see the tears he's cried

I can see every time that he's ever hoped to die

And I can also tell
the many ways he's tried

How ironic then

A man so obsessed with killing himself
would be ended by another's hand

Inside out

2007-08-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

Turning in a mass of colors
My entrails are extrails
I can't see anything but the ranbow
I try to grab my innards and push them back in
but the refuse
All except my heart

One Night stand part 2

2007-07-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

This old white man stepped up to the mic, and flung out "Memories Are Made of These" I say flung out, because he did not quite sing it. Not the way Dean Martin would have, if he were there. No, it was much more like he was trying to get all he words out as hard, and as aggressively as he could.
Some others sang too. Twins sung "The Girl is Mine" They weren't half bad. But as the nigh wore on, people were consuming more alcohol. Because of this (I assume they couldn't be doing it on purpose)
they tried to sing. But not good, much more like slurred, sloshy singing.

By 10th water, the bartender started getting a bit angry, "What are you doing here anyway? If you want water, go home an get it from the tap"

Yes it seemed like a logical idea. After all, I had cooled down a little. Maybe I would finish my water (on the rocks) and head on home. It was then that I caught sight of the blond that just entered.

God, I'm sorry, that was lame. I mean, it sounds like it's straight out of a Noire Cop film, "I caught sight of the blond as she sashayed in to the bar. She had huge saucer plate eyes that could swallow a guy right up, and a bosom that could fill the grand canyon"

Anyway, so she didn't really have saucer plate eyes, or a grossly over exaggerated set of knockers, but she wasn't bad looking. She moved in a kind of a liquid way, that made it almost look like she was not walking at all, but more floating. She sat down next to me, addressed the barman by name, Jackie, and ordered a drink, "A Caucasian" Whatever that was.

I looked over at her and said "What brings you here?" She looks at me, takes a drink of her caucasian, and smiles "The alcohol, and karaoke, you?"

"Me? Good question, I think that it was simply that I needed to get out of the house" And preceaded to tell her what had happened to me that day.

She laughed, "And you're only drinking water?"

"Yeah" I said. It seemed absurd, and she told me so, then continued to say that if anyone deserved to drink, it was in fact, me. And so it was due to the drink she bought me, a Jack and Coke, and then three more after that (it was strange how alcohol tends to loosen a man's resolve) I was convinced that singing karaoke was a good idea. My friend, who I came to understand was called Sandra (or Sandy to her closers) had told me that there was nothing more rewarding then singing karaoke, when you are feeling down.

"And the best part is that no one cares! They are all too smashed to really be bothered if you're bad, and if you're good, then they'll love you!"

It was this kind of logic, I figured at this point in time, seemed to make sense. I got up, and I sung. I'm not really sure what I sung. In fact, from that point on, it all really gets blurry. She would later told me later that I had first sung Rod Stewart's "Maggie May" dedicating it to my recent relationship problems. Apparently I made quite a good Rod Stewart at that. Then I barley got out "Life on Mars?" saying that David Bowie would understand my plight.

All I can tell you is that I woke up in the morning, in someone else's bed, with a killer headache, no clothes, and someone's hand... well, we won't get into that. I twisted and groaned slightly in the sheets, And nice sheets they were too, silky and smooth. The body next to me shifted too, awakened by my movement, and turned to face me.

"Wow, what a night" She said smilingly goofy like.
My head just throbbed, "Yeah, what a hangover"
She rolled out of, what I assumed was her bed, and walked over to the kitchen. It was not very fancy, but it was clean. I mean sparkling, like she had a cleaning fairy that came by and washed all the dishes, and wiped down the counters.

"Don't worry, I have a great cure for hangovers, my mom taught it to me" She started mixing a drink that, just upon looking at it, made my stomach seize up again. It looked like this: Jin, hot sauce, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, and a raw egg. She handed it to me, and I nearly vomited. It smelled awful. Like if you had made a cake out of dead body's, and then you served it to the queen. It was terrible. She told me to drink it all at once, it was better then a little at a time. Get down all at once, and lay down for a while. I downed it all in one swallow. Ye gods! you know that cake, and the queen described? Now imagine that the queen actually took a bite of the cake. My reaction was similar to what the queen would have done.

I went running for the bathroom, and spent some time hunched over the toilet, just waiting to barf it all up. But nothing came, and after a while my stomach settled.

When I returned to the living room, she had dressed herself, and was making breakfast. Somewhere in the background there was some Bob Dylan playing. "Lay Lady Lay" I smiled to myself, it seemed appropriate somehow. I walked over to see what she was making.

"Sorry Tommy, but you can't stay for breakfast" She said flatly. Like she was reading something off a cue card. Like it was global knowledge.

"What?" I grasped, I had barely recovered from my hangover, and now I was to be thrown back out onto the streets?

"Why?" I asked.

"My father and mother are coming over soon, they can't see you, no offense. I can drive you back to your house if you like, but you really can't stay"

I was not really sure what to say, I just nodded my head dumbly. The car ride home was silent. Just some 60's music humming over the radio. then I finally spoke up, "Well, can I see you again? I mean, I really enjoyed last night"

She gave me a look in the mirror like a was a five year old who was in desperate need of ice cream, "Look, Tommy, I really enjoyed being with you, and the sex was, well in enjoyable too. I'm just not looking to be with anyone right now. I'm sorry if I led you on"

Just like that. Cold and hard, but said in a tone that sounded sympathetic. I was once again at a loss for words. I had done it. I had just been party to a one night stand. I was used for the pleasure of someone else, and was now being thrown back to the dog pin.

The rest of that day I spent dwelling on the night's events, and came up with this. I shouldn't have expected a serious relationship, after all, I was drinking water in a bar. And gradually got used to the fact, that it really wasn't my fault, and that things don't end up like they do in movies.

Sound system

2007-07-27T20:05:00.000-07:00

My stereo thumpin'
I'm back in town

My sound system
"One thing that I can depend on"

My head it pounding
and I'm sweating

Just when I think I'm going to die
it starts raining

Thank God for Portland

Leaving of Portland (an ode to my friends)

2007-07-15T00:31:00.000-07:00

Farewell, to you, my own true friends.
I am going for the week
To stay at a boy scout camp
And my feeling, well it is, quite bleak

So fare thee well, my own true friends
And when I return, alive I hope to be
It's not the leaving of Portland that grieves me
But my companions, when I think of thee

One night stand (part 1)

2007-07-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

I have never liked on night stands. They seem so pathetic. I mean, you're feeling so sorry and down in the dumps, that you just want to fuck someone? That's crazy.

And yet, here I found myself, sitting in some lame karaoke bar in the 80's. Not that it wouldn't normally be the 80's, I just thought I'd add that in to help set up the scene.

It was in fact, the late 80's and I was in my prime. at the golden age of 25, I had just been fired from my job as a clerk for a law firm, got in an argument with my high school sweetheart (she ran off to her sister's house) , and almost run over by a car.

I can honestly say that the first two were not my fault: I was fired because I was doing my job. Can you believe it? I had apparently unearthed a case that would work against out client. thinking that it would be valuable to have, so we could counter it if the other side brought it up, I gave it to Dick Thompson, the man I worked for. He got a happy grin, clapping my on the back and saying

"Tommy" (that was me) "I knew when the partners assigned you to me, you'd be a hard working fellow, and look, here you are"

I wasn't really sure what he meant by that. The first week of my job, he spent cursing me, and telling me how much of a greenhorn I was.

Then, a few days later, he took me aside, and told me that the partners were happy about my contributions to the office, but due to budget cuts, they were going to have to let me go.

Partially I think it was because he was hopping that his next clerk was a female. Word around the office was that his last clerk was fired for "abusing a relationship of trust" Later I heard form Brian on the 3rd floor that his wife had caught them doing the missionary on his desk. Needless to say, next day, she was gone, and I replaced her.

And as for the high school sweetheart. Well, I came home that same day from work, a bit confused, and angry. I told my girl Sally that I had just been fired.

"Downsizing and whatnot" I said

She got all angry, and she started yelling about supporting a family. I had no idea what she was talking about, the only people that we had to support was our selfs. Her salary as an accountant would be enough to get by, while I looked for a new job.

"Of course you wouldn't know!" she yelled, tears coming to her eyes "I'm pregnant Tommy!"

Now, I'm no deadbeat. I honestly love kids. I would love to have kids. But that's an awful thing to spring on a guy, even more so on one like me, who just recently fired. So I got. I know, I'm a jerk. And looking back on it, there are better ways I could have handled it. Instead this is what happed.

Me: What? What do you mean you got pregnant? How did that happen? (I'm obviously so out of it, that I've forgotten what they teach all little boys and girls in middle school"

Sally: What the fuck do you mean "how did I get pregnant?!" You got me fucking pregnant, asshole!

Right, that's what happens when a man and a woman love each other

Me: Well, why didn't you tell me about it earlier Sal? That's not something you just spring on a guy!

Sally: Well when did you want me to tell you?! When your at work, or maybe when you get home late at night?

That was fair. My job had taken up a major part of my life. But that's how it was in the law business. Or so I had convinced myself.

Me: Okay, listen, lets just calm down and talk about this, civilized.

Sally: Fuck you prick. First you are yelling at me about getting pregnant, and now you want to talk civilized?
Fuck you, I'm going to stay with my sister. Call me when you feel like being a human.

And she left. That was the last I saw of her. Now you may ask how does a normal functioning relationship get all the way there? It would be fair that our marriage (Did I mention that before? We are married) was a bit rocky. but nothing this bad.

By the way. Sorry about that above. Switching methods of writing like that. Going from a first person narrative to a play style, and then straight back to first person. I really hate that in a book, but hell, it's my story, so I get to tell it any way that I want.

And fuck it, I loved her. I mean, I really did. So, I was feeling down, and out. I did something that I almost never do, I went to a bar. Not that there is anything wrong with going to a bar, it's just not something that I normally do.

As for the car, well, it was mostly my fault. I mean, it was possible that I could have tried crossing the street when there was a red light. You see, I lived in New York, New York, where crossing the street was dangerous enough, much less, when you had a green light.

So here I was in a bar, attempting to drowned my sorrows in an ice cold glass of water. Okay, I know, kinda lame right? I mean, what's the point of going to a bar, if you were just going to drink water? I was just trying to get out of the house, not get smashed. So I figured that I'd just get water. It was free after all.

Dashboard Child

2007-07-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

I was a dashboard child.
Born by fences and offenses

With hair like a lion
and eyes like David Bowie

I was always asking questions
"Why is the sky blue"
"Why did Abba write and song about Waterloo?"
"If storks bring babies, why do people have sex?"

Books never really touched me
as much as people touched me

And the only union in reunion I find
is in the passing of old friends

Seeing old lovers
framed beneath bed-sheet covers

And wishing that I never said
"Good-Bye"

2007-07-05T23:24:00.000-07:00

If the ghost of Phill Ohcs met Bob Dylan, what would they say?
Would they talk about Washington? Or 'ol Honest Abe?

Would Walden Robert Cassotto start singing songs of freedom
while being accompanied on guitar by Tim Hardin

Maybe Jimi Hendrix
would switch body's with Stevie Nix

Or perhaps Led Zepplin would play the Copacabana
While the Rat Pack would be sold out at Rock N Roll pizza

Who knows
Maybe nothing would happen at all...

Le Rue Crimnade

2007-07-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

The police man turned back to check and see if he was right. Upon confirming, he nodded
"Oui, monsieur, we found her just like that, face down in her own blood"
"Thanks Jaque, you can go now"
Jaque smiled, thanked me, and headed quickly from the scene. Murder was never a happy business, even more so with a girl so young. She was a ravishing blond, late early 20's we figured. Or, she would have been ravishing, but she was so torn and disfigured now, that she was hardly distinguishable. The first officer on the scene had checked for a wallet, or a purse, but we found nothing, no identification.

I hunched down over the body. Whoever did this, or what ever did this, must be some kind of mutilation freak. We found her body with giant gashes, in her chest. her clothes were all ripped and torn, and were soaked red in her own blood.

"What do you think Mac? A kitchen knife? Meat hook?" the coroner looked over the body
"Could be, could be, It almost looks like... well, but that's just crazy"
"What's crazy doc"
he pointed along the long tares in the flesh
"It's just, these patterns are consistent with claw marks"
I stood up and lit a cigarette, "What are you saying, she got mauled by a bear?"
He continued to inspect the body, "No, that's impossible, there aren't any bears that live around here"

I sucked on my cigarette, a blew out a slow stream of smoke. Watching it blend, and slowly fade into the surrounding black night.
For a moment, I thought I caught some movement, on the next street. Big hulking and hairy. I caught the red glow of eyes, and then it was gone.
Some crazy night I thought. must have just been a stray dog, looking for some meager scraps.

Back at the station, Doc MacKenzie did a full investigation. After he was done, he came to my office.
"You still here Nick? You should get some rest, you look like hell"
"Naw, nothing getting rest at my house, not with Jeanie gone" I looked down to hide a tear. Pouring my self and the Doctor a glass of scotch, I bid him sit and continue.
"Nick, I'm really sorry about her, everyone feels your pain"
I smiled, thankfully. Maybe if everyone wasn't saying that all the time, it would have a little more meaning.
"So, what are the results?"
"Well, I've totally ruled out animal attack"
He showed me a drawing of the body, detailing everything that was not normal.
"Hmmm, no longer a virgin? And you think that it might have been a rape-murder?"
"Officer Jaque collected testimony from the witnesses, and family. Apparently they phoned her in missing, and came down to identify the body"
"Positive? Eve through all the carnage?"
"Yes, they were positive"
"So, they say she hasn't been with anyone?"
"It was a strict catholic family from what the report says, they never fornicate out of wedlock"
"Right, well, okay, thanks Mac"
"You don't look so good, you should really get some rest"

On the way out of the station, I was stopped by the officer working the front desk.
"Detective Parry!" he hailed me.
"Please, just Nick"
"Right, I heard that you're working the mutilation case, the girl they found ripped up on Rue Crimnade"
"Yeah, what about it"
"Well sir, it's just, you know what it was right? I mean, you know what happens out there"
I laughed, "No, I suppose I don't, I'm knew around here"
"Well, they say, that the werewolves live around there"
"Werewolves? Oh, well in that case, I'll just finish up my report"
I thought he was joking, he must have been. No one believes in that stuff anymore. But one look at his face, told me otherwise.
"Right, officer..."
"Benoit"
"Well, Officer Benoit, I will keep my eyes open for any werewolves"

That night, I walked back to my apartment. No point in driving, it was a nice night. Besides, I wanted to take a last look at the crime scene. The body position, the blood, everything pointed to animal violence, but animals don't rape humans. And then I saw it again, red glowing eyes. I pulled out my flashlight, and shone it in the direction of them. Nothing. I laughed, lit another cigarette, and started walking again.
The Doc was right, I do need to get some sleep

A boy and a phone

2007-07-01T23:46:00.000-07:00

A young boy sits by a phone
there is a feeling inside of him
a churning and burning

He picks up the phone
then slams it down
He picks takes some paper
begins drafting a letter
then rips it up

He just continue to look at the phone
Not today
He thinks
Maybe when I get back
Maybe after I know more
There is always time

And so he sits,
With butterfly's in his stomach
for a person that isn't even there

Sitting in a strange house

2007-06-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a strange house
waking up with one clogged ear
and very clogged sinuses

The only thing to hear is the whine and hum
of electronics in the other room
the soft tap of the keyboard

Looking around
sprawled on plush pillows
like an Indian queen or harem girl

My breath is slow and paced
the room is very cluttered
but decorative

Then you walk out
and I smile
because I know I'll be alright

What Words

2007-06-29T00:51:00.000-07:00

What words grace this page

What ink soaked into the fibers
The fibers of the mind
of the writer
and the reader

What words grace this page...

How Ironic

2007-06-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

How Ironic
an owner of a noodle stall
eating a Cup-o-Soup

It's like an erection
you can't get rid of
you just sit around embarrassed

Glamorous Boys and Glitter Girls

2007-06-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

Glamorous Boys and Glitter Girls
Dancing in the light of the Shining Dynamo

Like zombies, moving to the bass
The hard smashing of synthesized drums
Hands moving and waving in the air
Like people trying to swat flys

Glamorous Boys and Glitter Girls
Dancing in the light of the Shining Dynamo

Scene distription: Outside Ben and Jerry's

2007-06-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

A family sits on a bench outside a Ben and Jerry's.
Mom and Sister on the left
Brother and his Girlfriend on the right.

Hipsters and vintage junkies
filter over from the Red Light.

The family of four talk
about what, they're not sure
but they do, none the less.

Two girls with:
short cropped hair
big sunglasses
and with bandannas tied in triangularly around their necks
pass by.
They talk about shows they've seen
concerts that they've been to
and how cool the Decemberists are.

A man with a French chapeau
and smoking a cigarette
carries on a fast-fire conversation on his phone.

"You're kidding me!
No!
Get the Fuck out!
Seriously?
I can't believe it!
Wait man, my girls on the other line..."

He switches and continues.

"Jen? Did you hear?"
She had
"Wait, how?"
Apparently from Jeff
"What?! You heard if from Jeff?"
Yes she had, why?
"Fucker! Oh, him not you, I just got it from Sarah, on the other line!"
Oh, well maybe Jeff just trusts me more
"Shit man!"

And it continues like that
he turns everything she says into a question
or exclaims an expletive.

A young couple comes out
each holding an ice cream.
They tease playfully and joke
and end up smearing their ice cream
on each other's face.

There is a a feeling between them
that smells like sex.
The only thing that is keeping them from it now
is the fact that they are in public.
So they are content to be lip locked
with vanilla and chocolate ice cream
dripping down on their clothes.

The Introduction

2007-06-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

So, I was talking with my friend Aria a few days ago. And she was saying that to be a really good writer, one must write, at least once a day. And that got me thinking, "How would you get the motivation for writing everyday?" I mean, don't get me wrong, I love writing. But it's hard for me to write when I don't have anything thing.
Thus I thought that it might be a good inspiration for me, to have a blog, in which I posted everyday what I had written. Some of it will be crap, some of it will be gold. So with out further adieu...